MI VIDA LOCA

Ok, so here it is about 6 months from my last blog. so sorry. Imma just start writing (rambling). In the last year I have seen Hell and visited it and it's NOT pretty!!! Here's a list of what has happened:
**Eldest daughter moved back to hometown w/abusive boyfriend and 2 kids. Moved in w/me. he moved in w/church family after giving life to God. Did good for awhile. Didnt want to go all the way and ended up leaving mad,lying and of all things,pregnant. Daughter moved in w/dad, said she hated my guts and I would never see or hear from them again (Thank God that only lasted 2 months!) This all came out because her Bi Polar boyfriend put his hand thru her window and then threatened the rest of the family to shoot them (us).

** Middle child decided she didnt like house rules and we were always fighting so she moved out on a bad nate.

**My baby has been badly affected by this, she turns 18 in 2 weeks and has been doing stuff behind my back. So I released her to move in w/her aunt early.

** Was doing daycare in the midst of all of this and because my eldest was lazy to clean up after her and her 2 babies, I did it. I was working from 7 am sometimes till 10pm and not making money or getting rest. So i shut my daycare down thinking I could get another job. I mean, i have A:WAYS had at least 2 jobs!

** I had an errand service for 9 years working and making great money for a couple w/health issues. So they passed on w/in a few months of each other. So I lost income there not to mention the fact that the wife was a dear friend. : (

** That left me no option but to give back my van that I had been paying on for 3 years.

** so now its 5 months later and I still have no job, no car and the self esteem has been shot down to nothing! It could have been easier if the ex had paid child support these last 3 years.

** and the topper was when my phone was stolen and sold to someone in another part of the state (like it's Flat Stanley or something!)
** Oh yea, It's menopause time (like Hammertime, but different)

YUKKKK!!

Im telling you, I was ready to call someone up and just LEAVE!!! Seriously!!

BUT....................
God's mercy is greater and I have wonderful pastors that God was already putting me on their hearts to come talk to me. So my female pastor (Pastor's wife) comes and knocks on my door and stays and just LISTENS to me rant and rave (calmly) for 2 hours, then she prays for me and I could feel things "lifting" away from me.
Also that night an old friend calls me after I had seen him on facebook and written him. I was so happy because this person was a major part of my life as a teenager. he was a friends boyfriend. I had always loved his openess and felt comfortable around him. well he confesses to me that he actually liked me back then! Wow , that FLOORED me! I didnt say too much about it, but I was remembering that I used to be attracted to hom too. But at that point it would have caused trouble. I never let any males get too close anyway back then.
So as Im talking to him imrealizing that all my life I have had an affinity to men w/red hair. it almost instantly puts me at ease (go figure). I have been attracted to certain color redheads, and that my type was and IS his personality!!
He is still pretty easy going after all these years and a divorce. I didnt ask about what happened in his divorce because i AM attracted to him. So he works at an interesting place and so I grabbed my daughter and went to visit him at work about 3 days later after talking on the phone. I never told him I liked him, that would put me in an uncomfortable spot. We get there and he takes us around and shows us the different areas, and Im liking it more and more .
Now mind you I was divorced in 99 , have not slept w/another man snce then and dated very briefly in 99-2000 and it left very bad taste in my mouth! I have been waiting patiently for a very long time and will continue to wait for the RIGHT one. But oh how I was letting myself get close to him. And it felt oh so dang RIGHT!!! Whenever the male species (or anyone) gets too close I back away. i have "comfort" zones and use them. But I could for the life of me NOT help myself! aggghhh!
Im frustrated because he is on the brain, and I really want to tell hom how it has been for me since I started talking to him. But I want him to make the first move. And then there I have another prblem. My morals concerning dating are high. I just dont! I would like to get married again someday (soon would be nice but I hate the whole "courting" stage. I also want a man of God . I wont even go there.
Anywhooo. this man has a whole LOT of characteristics I have wanted in a husband. From a great job, to the way he treats females and family, easy attitude and kinda laid back . So you tell me, do i like these traits because I seen them in him from a long time ago? Or does he just have them cause God put these desires in me? I feel TORTURED!!! I keep asking God to take this away because:

**I have eaten my way thru the last year and now have let my self go (but been losing a lb a day since my pastor viseted-no more appitite) and am insecure about my weight

** Am thinking he wont feel the same

**Have always prided myself about having a job and transportation. Now nothing. i sometimes HATE American culture

** Want to make sure It's not a temp "rescue" thing on my behalf although I dont think so

**Hope Im not putting what I "think he is" on him

**Goes against every princeple I have been taught. Am I too churchy for him?? I would never abandon my God for ANYTHING, but would I back off some of my princeples and risk backsliding for him according to my current church? And please dont be harsh about my church I have seen miracles in mine and others lives thru the years and if you know me you can feel it thru my conversations.

**Does he even think ANYTHING about me besides "what a nice visit"?


**Am waiting for his next move

So how can a level headed woman who has fought tooth and nail to make sure NO One gets close to her (male wise) completly lose her cool in a matter of a 2 hour conversation and a 4 hour visit to his work???? And I know he has a heart for God , but serving God is another matter entirely. I want time and opportunity to get to know these things.
Ok, Im done. i need to try to go get some sleep now.
Go ahed input me : )
DISCLAIMER- I am NOT going back over my notes because I would have to fix ALL the typo's and Im just not "there"
Ni NIGHT Blog World!

Happy easter!!

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Sukky Day Somebody's Laughing ALL the Way to The Bank!

Oh Happy Day!
Just a brief rundown at the Rodriguez household:
Today started off in the normal way (gulp). Thought I'd get some R & R. Take a leisurely bath, get dressed and go do a couple things.
Ha!
My daughter told me she had maggots under the carpet!! GROSS! You see, a few months back our water heater leaked thru the wall and into the carpet. This carpet is 20 years old so you can imagine that it already smelled pretty bad.
So now we will have to spray,pull up the carpet,cut it into 3 peices cauze the garbage man (is that term politically correct?) wont pick it up for free if we dont,bleach the HECK outta the room AND I still have to try to find a carpet we can put over the concrete for free or near free.
Ok, that was number ONE. Here's number TWO:
Mind you , I already said we needed free stuff.......
Our water heater went out! So now we gotta boil water on the stove if we want to bathe. All 6 of us! 4 adults and 2 babies. Yuk!
But that's ok, I keep myself laughing because I actually put an ad up for a free, get this, USED water heater!! hahahahahahahahaha
I reaaly must trust God, cauze I knew when I put it up that it was near impossible, but..... He IS the God of the impossible. So anyway, I'll keep yall posted.
Since Im such a darn romantic. Im gonna watch the Nora Roberts movie I recorded. Well, Ill watch parts of it. I skip over the super sexed scenes like the good 9cough cough) girl that I am! toodles!

Missing Lamp

Weird.









oh yeah, my mom's candy stash. This is prob the freshest candy I seen in there since 1973 and it's prob candy from 1988!

My Visit To My Mother

Went to visit my mom. Here's what transpired. Ended up calling an old stepbrother. Gilly. Or rather he called my mom back as a surprise.










My mom used to be married to a nightmare of a stepdad. The man was just plain MEAN and he did things I won't mention for those who dont know me. But praise God I have been healed! Anywhoo, Im happy to hear from them as they were super fun and most were nice. Oddly enough I got along the best w/Gilly and the first brother I called after 25 years,Larry (no pic yet) who broke my wrist when he was 15 and I was 9 or so. He fell on my wrist while playing football in my front yard. All 200 lbs of him!


So he sent me pics of his twin Robby. Both are confirmed bachelors and their birthday is the day after mine. To this day my mom STILL gets MY bday wrong and I get a phone call on THIER bdays! sukky!

Gilly was the lous funny one,Robby was the quiet pushy one,Debbie was the down to earth one who made guys heads turn .
















And last comes Marilou the Janet Jackson look alike. well, back then.




They all look the same but different??
So anyway, we had fun w/all the txts and pics.

Back to the visit:
Mom was ok. She ahs been thru 2 cancerous situations and is down to 85 lbs. She looked better today mebbe she gained a little weight.
She ran out of TP in the bathroom and said she had plenty under the sink. So being the good little daughter I am, I went to replace the roll,lemme say that again, replace the roll (for all you non roll replacing people out there, SHAME ON YOU!). And dang! the woman had 4 rows deep of the stuff! She said that the lady across the st actually SELLS the stuff out of her garage. Like 22 rolls for 5 bucks!! So since she goes into Mexico all the time I wondered if she's some sort of TP smugglin secret person type uh,person. I could write a book about it ya know!! Sounds THAT far out!











Hey Rhetta and Gaga! Lookie what I found in my moms closet! You think YOU had old clothes? This is 80's stuff! can you say yuk twice?yuk! yuk!






Last but not least........
And I just HAD to take a pic of this lamp!! Remember this one?? lol! My mom put it in the middle room just a couple years ago and replaced it w/TWO ugleeeeee lamps w/lampshades that don't even fit them! hahaha
(serious!! I "lost" my lamp pic...here lampy lampy lampy. If it somehow shows up when I post,so be it,if not well, I dunno what to say.......)

My Man

Hey there! I been wanting to do this for a long time, so here goes......
The Bible says to "write the vision,make it plain on tablets" or in modern day times "get a specific goal and write it down, stoopid, before you forget the dream!". Ok maybe not so harsh,but you get the pic.
My ideal man:
Definitely Christian! He better love Jesus more than he loves me!
At least 5"11".
Lean to slightly bulky ok
HAS to want to experiment in the kitchen and try healthy meals using REAL food.
Would rather GO see a game than spend all his extra time watching one.
On that note wants to spend more time with me than the tV.
Hates conflict but will confront when necessary.
Has a good job. I want to be a kept woman!ha! But I plan on being good to him.
No children in the house.
Is semi spontaneous.
Cleans up after himself.
Debt free or close to it and hates credit and debt as much as I do.
Is patient and kind.Not loud or brassy.
AND
Is willing to put up w/all my crud!!!
yah I believe he exsists. I can wait. But I hope God hurries. I been divorced since 1999!

Crazy Days

Ok, this week turned out tottally different than I expected. Here's a brief (I hope) recap:
*Mon-Ok day- had no daycare kids but onein the pm
*Tues-also went ok
*Wed-Ok, this is the day! About 5pm I got a call from an old friend. She asked if I knew what apt # her bro's lived in. I said no. She then told me she was worried because someone called her and said he was very depressed and was worried that he might harm hisself (himself?).
My friend wanted to call the ambulance but didnt have the exact address. So I asked her to keep me informed since I have been friends w/her family for about 25 years. So while in the church nursery I get this txt from her that hes on his way to the local emergency rm. No other info.
So I decide that after awhile I will head up to the ER.
When I get there they won't tell me a thing! I said I was family so I could get in. There was no other family member there and Im thinkin that if he's passed out,tried to kill himself,mebbee I will be the last person he sees before he goes to ??? and I wanted to make sure he made the uh,better, decision.
After 30 min they let me into the actual bed area of the ER. much to my surprise he comes walkin out of the bathroom weaving around. He was super drunk! SoI wait around for him to get discharged and Im talkin to him and he's breakin down. He cant believe Im the one to be there. He's 4 years older than me and was my friends big bro. he had come tomy church a few times but the lure of the bottle was greater. A friend once called it "liquid courage".
Anywhoooo, he's telling me he needs a "good woman", Im tellin him he needs Jesus. Women didn't help him so far. So then we go get my daughter from church (she's waiting in the bathroom cauze its 10:30pm and Im NOT driving him home by myself even tho I do trust him).
On the way he says he's gonna fill up my tank. We go to the gas station and he's looking much better. We park outside his house and talk for awhile and in that talk he tells me "Why don't you marry me and have my kids?' He's was laughing,but he wasn't kidding (at that moment). If I had gone home,got my clothes and moved in that night,he would have been trippin IM SURE, the next morning!!
Im not that great lookin and im defineatly NOT a spring chicken! I told my daughter that at 2am to someone that's drunk EVERYONE looks good and it's his 2 o clock!
Anyway, the next day he tells me he's checking into rehab for the DT's for 5 days. I believe God can do ANYTHING in a short amount of time and Im believing he will deliver my friend from alcohol. But 5 days is not enough time to heal what's REALLY bothering people.
So Im gonna leave you with THIS to comment on.
Aud
PS> did Imention that this man used to look like Richard Gere? sad. He asked me how he looked and I told him "bad". But he's still young.